iPhones, Football & Triscuits. Oh My!

I'm happy to report that today was an extreme 360 degree turn from yesterday. For one, I actually declined an invitation from Malcom to hang out. Yes, my excuse was that I was asleep (and it was true). But I actually felt good about it. I woke up early this morning and was eager to start my day. First thing was first: I had to eat breakfast. It was really hard this morning. I had that empty feeling in my body, probably from all of the restricting yesterday. But I always hate to interrupt that feeling. It's such a comfortable feeling. However, I know what this feeling means. It means I need to eat breakfast. So I did.
Meds were next on the list. I'm not sure why I have such a hard time taking my meds. I always remember them, I just never want to actually take them. I think it's kind of a self-care thing. I know that taking them will help, but I sometimes I don't want that help. Maybe their not working, I tell myself, I don't actually need them. It's a waste of money....

Lately I have really been dying to buy a scale. Of course its not a good idea. I know that. But when I had to go to the store this morning I almost slipped. I semi-slipped. I weighed myself right there in the middle of Walmart. Bad idea? Yes. But did I let it ruin my day? Nope.

After my run-in with Walmart's most evil product, I just did some busy-body work around the house. I cleaned like there was no tomorrow, but cleaning actually calms me so I didn't mind.
Then, the best part of my day: I got an iPhone! I'm finally not the only one of Earth without one! So most of my afternoon was spent fiddling around with that.

I knew I had to go grocery shopping. Most of the time I LOVE to grocery shop (maybe this is an eating disorder thing), but today I was dreading it. I literally had about 5 food items at home, so I had no choice but to buy food today. It took me much longer than usual. I found myself checking labels, fat grams, sodium content, calories, etc... When this happens, I feel so binded by the eating disorder. I did buy some "joy" items though. Teddy Grahams! Triscuits! Goldfish! Yay! And of course, my anti-drug: Diet Coke!

I was My eating disorder was mad that my roommate was coming home for dinner, but I knew what had to be done. I had done so well all day and I wasn't going to stop now. I met my exchanges for dinner and didn't even have urges afterwards to use certain behaviors.

If you would have asked me last night if today was going to be better, I would have said no. But I'm glad it was. Things WILL get better. Things DO get better.

And, hey, the FSU football team even won today. =)