So I just returned to the Sunshine state after 2 weeks in New York. I am glad to be back, and in my regular schedule but I do miss my family and friends already. It was a successful trip, thank God! Behavior usage was minimized to a mere two times, as opposed to last year. Perhaps trips back home will become easier and easier until their not an issue at all anymore.
I got to see a bunch of people this trip, which caused a lot of anxiety considering I have gained a hell of a load of weight since I have seen many of them. Most people just reacted with the typical "OMG, Kelly, you look beautiful (or great, or so healthy, etc...). One person saw me and goes, "Wow, Kelly, you look nice and husky." Um, what the heck is THAT supposed to mean? Seriously? That caused major anxiety and self-depreciation.
Moving on, now I'm back in Tallahassee and all I can change is the future, not the past.
So theres a new fella since I last blogged. Nothing serious yet. We've been hanging out since early July. He's Venezuelan and his middle name is Rubio so I'll call him Rubes for confidentiality purposes. This is the story with Rubes: he just graduated and is looking for a job out of town, like far, far out of town (Tampa, Washington DC, Chicago, etc...). I met him through a different friend and we pretty much hang out often and stuff. But I tell ya, men are so confusing. We had a mini "talk" and we agreed on not "doing stuff" with other people. But he doesn't want a relationship. This was like a month ago and I don't know, its just weird. I want to be with him exclusively, but he doesn't seem like the good boyfriend type, not to mention he's possibly leaving. Should I tell him how I feel? Or just continue being physically exclusive with him? Ahh decisions!
Anyway, school is about to start and I know that can be a tough time for a lot of people in recovery. I know, for me, I get nervous and anxious about people I may meet and the social aspect of things. I want to remind all of you ladies and gentlemen that recovery and your wellness is your number one priority. All the rest will fall into place. Remember that there's so many other people that are just as nervous and anxious as you. If you're going away to school, make sure you set up a strong support network. Reach out for help! Counselors at schools are there to help you. Good luck and have fun!!
